Hotel California

You probably saw the story a couple of weeks ago about how celebrities (and let’s use that word guardedly) were already coming out (and let’s use that phrase guardedly) for their presidential candidates of choice.

As a general rule, the political insights of movie stars or musicians or jocks don’t tend to be especially insightful, although there are of course exceptions; some are smarter and/or better informed than others, as is the case with the rest of us.

Most of the time, Hollywood political endorsements come off as exercises in pure self-indulgent, self-important posturing, and when egos get in the way, that can backfire pretty loudly. Remember that Kerry-Edwards fundraiser back in 2004, with Whoopi Goldberg cracking lame sexual puns on the president’s name? Yee haw.

Do prominent people get more attention for their political stands than the rest of us? Yeah. Of course. But the effectiveness of those stands, at some basic level, should come down to whether or not these people know what the hell they’re talking about. The idea that somebody has political acumen because he or she is pretty or can remember lines or plays a kickass guitar is as self-evidently stupid as the idea that somebody is a role model for your kids because he can take a running back’s head off.

If you vote for a Democrat because Leonardo DiCaprio or Matt Damon tells you to, or for a Republican because Patricia Heaton or Kelsey Grammer tells you to, you are – not to put too fine a point on it – a complete cretin. Give your vote to somebody better equipped to use it responsibly. Like your dog.

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